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Writer's pictureThe Bardvark

Wizard Trapped In Glowing Tower Outside Campus Center Unsure Why He Has Not Been Rescued Yet

By Jackson Spargur


For 300 years, the wizard Agroth The Wise has called a lonely spire his home, trapped in the confines of a bell tower by the cruel spell of the Arch-Mage Belsiphus. Luckily, situated between the Bertelsmann Campus Center and the Chapel of the Holy Innocents, in Annandale-on-Hudson, upstate New York, his tower would seem to be in the perfect spot for some intrepid hero to ascend the stony walls, clamber through the upper window, and recite the freeing incantation for which Agroth has been patiently waiting for centuries. However, we have learned that not even once has a young, dashing lad, clad in a woven tunic, even so much as tried to find some purchase on the rough granite stones of the outer wall. Bardvark spoke to Agroth in brief, from the base of his cursed prison: “It’s not even that tall,” he said, with apparent frustration. “Every night I work powerful magic to project glowing colors from the tower, from blues, to greens, to purples, hoping at least one adventuresome, nimble spirit might take the challenge of my rescue as their duty. None of them even seem that curious.” At press time, Agroth had resorted to ringing the tower’s bell.


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