by Lola Buncher
The Bard Prison Initiative has long served its community as an education outreach
program for incarcerated persons. However, upon their recent addition of a theater degree to this program, post-graduation employment rates have never been lower. The rapidly plummeting employment rates left administrators baffled, searching for the mysterious connection between theater and unemployment.
In an attempt to remedy the situation, a frazzled Max Kenner, BPI founder, spoke with employer Drew Parker, who had recently denied positions to two BPI theater graduates. When asked to comment on the matter, Drew simply stated, “Hey, I’m all for giving ex-con’s a second chance... but theater majors? I mean, you gotta draw the line somewhere.”
Upon hearing this, Kenner decided to meet with recent BPI theater program alumni
Tony, who had been having a difficult time finding work after prison. When asked about the specifics of the program, Tony told Kenner, “I wanted to work on cultivating my resume, but my acting coach just took it from my hands, tore it up, and said 'artists don't make compromises.' Man, theater is weird.”
Kenner thought perhaps it was best to continue with his investigation from the inside
and payed a visit to the nearest penitentiary. It was here that he saw a room full of inspired inmates trying their hand at improv comedy. “Good God I’m too late,” muttered Kenner in a defeated breath, as the inmates around him played a competitive game of zip, zap, zop. “Our troupe is named Home Improv-ment! We’re gonna make it big when they get out! I can just feel it,” stated their painfully optimistic professor.