Roger Berkowitz Trips And He Falls

An unnamed source has related that At 10 AM yesterday, they witnessed the distinguished Professor Roger Berkowitz in the act of tripping, and also the act of falling right on his face in what the sources believe to be a “pretty nasty puddle of mud.” The source also said that it was SUPER embarrassing, and at least one person laughed. According to our witness, he looked “pretty ridiculous.” Also, according to that source (who, in the spirit of journalistic integrity, we are required to disclose is me), after slowly working himself up from the pool of mud his jacket--which sources speculate was probably his favorite--was COVERED in stinky mud, which probably won’t wash out ever. At least, that would be pretty funny right? Alright, being an upstanding publication, we probably have to say that that didn’t really happen, but it definitely could have and we would all have to agree that would be pretty funny, right? Can you imagine what his sad face would have looked like? Sources indicate it was covered in frowns and also mud.