Resident Bad Boy Roger Berkowitz Sets Off Stink Bombs On Porch Of Hannah Arendt Center

By Megan Brien

After yet another stink bomb was left on the porch of Bard College’s Hannah Arendt Center for Politics and Humanities, members of the resident faculty are putting their foot down. This incident is the most recent of a long string of pranks the Center has been victim to, according to inside sources. In addition to stink bombs, reports of egging and teepeeing have occurred at a steadily increasing rate over the past few years, to the mounting frustration of various Bard College Staff. While rumors over who the perpetrator may be have been circling around campus, the Arendt Center staff seem to have reached a consensus. “It’s totally Roger,” attests a faculty member who wishes to remain anonymous, “We all know it’s him. He’s always pulling stuff like that--swapping office furniture and putting plastic wrap on toilets. At first it was funny, but now I just want things to go back to normal. I just can’t focus when he blasts that loud rock music from his office.” After an intervention was allegedly held this past Monday to address the professor’s shenanigans, several students witnessed the academic director storm out of the Arendt Center and angrily skateboard down the street, shouting “sucks to suck, losers” over his shoulder.