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Writer's pictureThe Bardvark

New Bard Farm Coordinator Clearly From Dust Bowl Era

By Brian Watko



After months of reviewing applications, the Bard College Farm has selected their new coordinator, a man who is clearly from the Dust Bowl of the 1930s. Aaron Graves, age unknown, chugged into Annandale-on-Hudson this Friday in an overpacked Model T Ford, having abandoned his Oklahoma homestead to accept the position.


“I’m mighty thankful to the good folks at Bard for this opportunity,” said Mr. Graves. “It’s been marvelous getting to know the students and becoming acquainted with the lush, bountiful Hudson Valley. Ever since the black clouds came roaring through the Plains, it’s been nigh impossible for me to imagine that place like this still exists.” Reaching out a weathered hand, he gestured to the landscape with such reverence that one would think he had discovered a new Eden.


When asked what changes he will make to the farm, Graves only said, “We shan’t disrupt the topsoil, nor plow too deep. I learned my lesson the last time. We all did.” Though Mr. Graves’ expression remained stoic and determined, this reporter could not help but notice a single tear trailing down his haggard face.


In a press release regarding their new hire, the Bard Farm Committee had this to say: “We feel truly honored to welcome Aaron Graves to Annandale. As far as we are concerned, there is no one in the country more qualified to run our 1.25 acre farm––Aaron is an expert farmer and was the inspiration for a number of Woody Guthrie songs. Bard students will not only benefit from Aaron’s agricultural expertise; they will have ample opportunities to listen to his engaging stories of boxcar travel and the dangers of manifest destiny.”


At press time, mournful harmonica music could be heard from the fields behind Ward Manor.


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