top of page
Writer's pictureThe Bardvark

Helpful Advice Concerning Roommates, Relationships, And Bonding

By John Reisert



The relationship you have with your roommate is a delicate one, and sometimes you make mistakes. Sometimes you walk into your room when you shouldn’t, and earlier this week I found myself in an awkward situation that I feel every person should be prepared for. So, here’s what you should do when you walk in on your roommate masturbating to VR porn. The first step is to analyze the situation. Do they know you’re there? (Their eyes will be covered by the large virtual reality headset regardless.) Do they have headphones on as well? If so, they probably didn’t hear you walk in but, if they did hear you, then you should help them finish (out of respect). If they didn’t hear you enter, you must be fully prepared to be equally respectful no matter the cost. If they are about to roll off their bed or hit something, politely and silently help them into a better position. Use your best judgement! When they’re finishing, write down what they scream so you can give them pointers and tips on what they should scream next time.


If you find yourself in this situation, and you follow this advice, it will solve all your relationship problems with this person. They will appreciate your help and will respect your initiative. Your relationship will be forever solved, and will never be awkward again.


0 comments

Comentários


bottom of page