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Writer's pictureThe Bardvark

Hark, For There Is Danger! Keep Thine Eyes Steady, Weary Neighbor

By Nathanael Matos



‘Twas late in the evening of a Thursday. The sky was black as pitch and the heavens’ tears fell upon the Earth in a downpour that rivaled the apocalyptic storm of the Old Testament’s fabled Flood. Zeus’ fury cracked and arced across the sky, and an uproar of explosive and violent magnitude rang as company. Silence was but a distant memory for poor William as he struggled to focus upon the text before him. He’d been upon the couch for two hours and he’d barely passed the first page of eight. Midnight’s hour drew nearer as the wind howled and raged, lightning flashed and flared, thunder screamed and crashed. His roommate, Samuel, seemed undisturbed by the viciousness of Thor’s wrath, as he was busily working away at his own assignment. Resigned to failure, William closed the text, clutched it firmly to his chest and wandered into his bedroom. Settling it down on his desk, he readied to slumber for the night. Turning off the light, he began for his bed, but remembered his manners and went to say goodnight to his companion. He turned and suddenly a bump -- a thump, a knock in the night -- barely audible over the storm’s mighty passions outside. But Samuel had heard. William stood stunned by the strike upon his crown and uttered “It snuck up on me, I swear.” Samuel pondered for the briefest of moments before replying with, “Must be one of those damn ninja doors. We’ll have to be careful going forward. Goodnight, you look weary.” With that, William said his farewell and settled down into an unperturbed slumber.


The moral of the story: watch out for ninja doors.


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