Bodily Functions. Who needs them, when you’re too busy getting your brain smashed against a philosophical abyss? Well then, why is the philosophical abyss filled with flatulence?? Certainly wasn’t me! Who would’ve guessed that my philosophy professor was capable of cutting some SERIOUS cheese--I didn’t even know he needed to do that stuff. I mean, it’s not like teachers are real people, all they do is show up to class and then get sucked back to the void whence they came and then they go back to where Botstein keeps them. No teacher ever is a real human being that needs to DO human things. They don’t live REAL lives. But he dealt it… And I smelt it. God, makes me shiver just thinking about it. Eugh. I don’t pay $70,000 a year for greenhouse gases, not in MY philosophical abyss. Bard is supposed to be carbon neutral in 10 years, aren’t we? And look who’s not helping! Ugh. The only thing that’d be worse than this is if he burped. Thanks a lot, Professor Flatulence.
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