Attendees of Bard’s Annual “Dress Like Hunter S. Thompson” Summit Reach Monumental Resolution

By Brigid Pfeifer

This past weekend was the fifth annual “Dress Like Hunter S. Thompson” Summit, a lively conference dedicated to paying tribute to the godfather of gonzo journalism by appearing to look just like him. This year, after a lackluster showing the year prior, summit-goers brainstormed on how to make the event even better and more exciting. A trivia contest? Nope. An anti-Richard Nixon guerilla performance? Not quite. A Tuesday morning hangover? Not even close. After hours of careful consideration, a landmark realization was made--they’ve only been focusing on the clothing of Thompson and not the small yet crucial quirks. So, for the fifth annual summit, a new rule has been implemented, requiring attendees to stick the newsman’s iconic cigarette in the corner of their mouths and keep it unlit for as long as possible as they discussed Thompson’s many contributions to world dominating journalism. Though it seemed like Leon Botstein was a shoo-in for Best Grizzly Mug, the prize for first place ultimately went to a famous film actor. He wishes to remain anonymous, though he is rumored to be working on “Edward Scissorhands 2: The Next Cut.”