By Megan Brien
Although being late for class is never a super cool thing to do, sometimes life gets in the way and you have no choice but to sneak into the back of the room, clutching your hot pink binder and hoping the (very dreamy) teacher doesn’t notice. But on the off chance that the teacher does notice and proceeds asks you—in front of the entire class!—why you were late, here are a few foolproof reasons that won’t reveal the truth of your tardiness.
“My mom spilled her coffee all over my sheet music!!” This one is a classic. Not only does it place the blame on someone else (your blundering mother), it also works as a plausible explanation for being late, as it could be considered a legitimate emergency.
“The football players slushied me—AGAIN!” The beauty of this excuse is that it’s probably not even a lie. Those football players are the worst! Such a grievous act will elicit a healthy amount of sympathy from your teacher.
“I just found out my crush’s girlfriend is pregnant!” I like to think of this tactic as a form of diversion. A red herring, if you will. The entire class will be so shocked by my juicy gossip that they’ll more than likely forget that I was late in the first place.
“When I opened my locker, five bees flew out of it and chased me down the hallway!” Perhaps less believable, but I do feel that there is an urgency to this story that is undeniable. As far as the teacher knows, I could be very allergic to bees and need to carry an epipen with me everywhere! I’m not, but he doesn’t know that!!
“I sprained my knee at Sectionals, and ever since then I haven’t been able to sustain walking for more than 30 seconds at a time.” Athletic injuries are treated with the utmost respect in this school, so I should think that an affliction gained during a competitive performance would be treated with similar dignity. This may require some longform acting skills, but I’m sure I would be more than up to the task.
So there you go—five rock solid alibis for when you just can’t tear yourself away from that three ringed binder. Keep pouring out your hearts and one day you’ll be the one to see your name in lights. Nothing can stop me, not even a demerit for tardiness (although I would rather not have that on my permanent record)!
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