Hi Bardvark!
It’s not even halfway through the semester and my bike’s been Bard borrowed five times! How can I get others to stop stealing my bike?
Sincerely,
Done Being Borrowed
Hello, Done Being Borrowed.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. I certainly understand your frustration. Let me think… Do you have a car, or can you convince your wealthy parents to buy you one? If not, you could subject yourself to the shuttle and the capricious ways of its timetables. Indeed, you could simply walk, but what if you have two classes back-to-back and a great distance apart? Hmmm. I cannot understand why your bike in particular is so highly sought after by these bicycle-rustling rapscallions. Unless… are you the owner of that 2007 tea-rose Schwinn with a banana seat and a basket? That thing handles like a dream.
Please forgive me.
Regretfully,
The Bardvark
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