11 Questions To Ask Your New Therapist

By Annie Dodson and Tom Victor

So, you did it! You finally found the perfect new therapist. But wait— before you decide that they’re the one, you need to call them and ask them these questions.

1. How do you feel about gay people?

2. Are you mean?

3. Do you know magic?

   1. If no, why not?

   2. This is called the French drop. It’s a basic sleight of h

   3. How did you like my trick?

      1. Do you mean it?

4. Just circling back on gay people?

5. Ass or boobs?

   1. Elaborate with examples

   2. My ass or my boobs?

6. Biggest regret?

7. Jaguar vs cheetah who wins?

8. What shape is the Earth, to you?

9. How will i die?

10. Is he cheating?

11. Exactly how far in the future can you see?

If they answered all of your questions, congratulations— you have a new therapist