Horses Are Just Big Sexy Dogs

By WhorseGurl (aka Annie Dodson)

Horses’ dicks are huge. This is an indisputable fact. They also have four legs, like many other mammals––like dogs, for instance. Thus, horses are just big sexy dogs.

For me, it all goes back to the fourth grade. My mother forced me to do an equestrian summer camp. I remember seeing a horse up close and personal for the first time in my life and thinking, what the hell is that? in regards to what I know now as its jumbo dick. I also remember noticing that they had four legs, which reminded me of many other mammals––like dogs, for instance.

Ever since I earned my blue ribbon in dressage at horse summer camp, I’ve led my whole life trying to sum up horses. Trying to conceptualize them in my head. What are they? I’ve asked myself over the years. I have come to the conclusion now, with all my evidence and personal experiences to justify it, that they are just big sexy dogs.

What do we, as a society, do with this information? We can’t all go around fucking horses. Well….

No. It’s time for a paradigm shift. The zeitgeist needs readjusting. Our collective consciousness surrounding horses needs to change. We all must open our eyes to the reality of the situation. We all must come to our senses and reconfigure how we think of horses: they are just big sexy dogs.

And so if horses are just big sexy dogs, then lock me up for bestiality.